More Weaving Jokes to Make You Laugh (or Groan)

I don’t think I have ever laughed so much checking my email. When we asked for weaving jokes, you responded in droves. They’re too good not to share!

• Little-known but false fact: Lt. Commander Scott “Scotty” from Star Trek spent his youth helping his grandfather weave tweed in the Outer Hebrides. This is the true origin of the phrases “Beam me up, Scotty” and “warp speed.”
—Margaret N.

• What did the reed say to the weaver?
“You sley me!”
—Rick W.

• I tell so many warped jokes that my friends have weft me alone.
—Kris P.

• I was going to tell a joke about dressing the loom, but it was totally warped!
—Mary Lou H. and Helen M.

• Thanks for the jokes—they keep me from getting raddled.
—Linda C.

• I recently started selling my weaving at our local farmer’s market, and they wanted a business name. I tried a few different things, but nothing seemed right until I found it. Simply Warped. That’s definitely me . . . and my weaving. Some people don’t get it, but that’s okay; it makes me smile.
—Rhonda W.

• My hubby and I have wanted to make a T-shirt, with the text “Weaving: Covering Backsides since the Dawn of Civilization!”
—Cecily B.

• And finally, Ellen LaBruce shared a series of weaving-pun mystery-book titles thought up by members of the Redwood Guild of Fiber Arts including Lynn Noble, Sue Hayes, and Sheila O’Hara, aka “The No. 4 Ladies Deflected Agency.” Here are just a few:
Win Some/Loom Some
The Sley Hook Stuck in the Shed
Swift Justice
A Madder of Murder (Ladies Choice #1)
Looming Danger
Scarf Face
Death Looming in the Shadows
The Rosepath Killer
The Monk’s Belt Hanging
A Tale of Two Shuttles
Murder She Wove
The Bobbin’s End
Boucle’s Bumble
The Spurious Spindle
Have You Felt the Danger?
D is for Deflected Doubleweave
Sinister Shuttles of Slaughter

I hope you all enjoyed this batch as much as the last and, as always, feel free to send us your weaving and fiber-related jokes at any time!

Happy Weaving!
Christina

Updated Nov. 25, 2024